Walk into any cannabis shop in Washington DC and the menu can hit you like a wall. Dozens of strain names, most of them completely unfamiliar, all described in varying levels of detail. Some menus give you terpene breakdowns and lineage charts. Others just say "sativa" and move on. Either way, if you don't know what you're looking for, it's easy to end up with something that doesn't match your mood, your plans, or your tolerance. This guide is designed to fix that. We'll walk